Kali vs. Ken: the London contest I would really like to see

I can't get excited about the prospect of Ken Livingstone being the Labour candidate for London mayor. There's so much not to like! I don't believe Oona King will beat him; moreover, I don't think she deserves to. What an uninspiring field London Labour Party members have to choose from.

For a few days I thought about whether there was someone more inspiring that the Labour left could put up but I thought about it too late, and if the person I did think of hadn't thought of it by themselves by then, my last-ditch prompting wasn't going to sway them! So Ken it is...

I have been enjoying "Mongrels" recently on BBC3 (actually, on BBC iPlayer). It's my ideal "comedy": extremely dark with lots of toilet humour and cute animals. Real cute animals, with bites taken out of their ears and tattered feathers.

She wasn't my favourite character at first, but Kali the vengeful pigeon has grown on me. She wants to avenge all pigeonkind against the wrongdoer man (even though man has given the rock pigeon a plentiful supply of places to roost and plenty of crappy food to eat).

I would think Ken Livingstone an ideal symbolic first target for Kali, if she ever gets her bird-brained scheme off the ground. "I would like to see that, I would really like to see that."