Boris Johnson's Friday doughnut #1: Brian Coleman's parking charges

I'm not good at jokes. Although I coined the idea of Barnet bloggers having a Friday joke, the ONLY joke I can remember is about scousers in suits, and I don't approve of it.

My humour is of a more visual bent and so I offer you, at least until 3 May (which, confusingly, is a Thursday), the Friday doughnut.

Kali vs. Ken: the London contest I would really like to see

I can't get excited about the prospect of Ken Livingstone being the Labour candidate for London mayor. There's so much not to like! I don't believe Oona King will beat him; moreover, I don't think she deserves to. What an uninspiring field London Labour Party members have to choose from.

For a few days I thought about whether there was someone more inspiring that the Labour left could put up but I thought about it too late, and if the person I did think of hadn't thought of it by themselves by then, my last-ditch prompting wasn't going to sway them! So Ken it is...

I have been enjoying "Mongrels" recently on BBC3 (actually, on BBC iPlayer). It's my ideal "comedy": extremely dark with lots of toilet humour and cute animals. Real cute animals, with bites taken out of their ears and tattered feathers.

She wasn't my favourite character at first, but Kali the vengeful pigeon has grown on me. She wants to avenge all pigeonkind against the wrongdoer man (even though man has given the rock pigeon a plentiful supply of places to roost and plenty of crappy food to eat).

I would think Ken Livingstone an ideal symbolic first target for Kali, if she ever gets her bird-brained scheme off the ground. "I would like to see that, I would really like to see that."

Wash me; or, London's mayoral race

"Let me take you by the hand,
And lead you through the streets of London."
-- Ralph McTell

God, I hated and still pretty much do hate that song! It was popular when I was a kid, and as a kid I detested mournful songs.

Still, what about those streets of London? They're filthy, aren't they? I've decided to give my vote in London's mayoral election to whichever candidate will promise to give London's pavements one thorough scrub during their term of office.

Yes, I know such a policy pledge could be seen as a candidate attempting to "bribe us with our own money", but I would interpret it more as someone showing some vision.

On the subject of the London mayoral race, with all the fuss around who Labour's candidate will be (I'm not remotely inspired by any of the likely candidates, btw), I got confused about how long it is till the actual election takes place, so I looked it up: you know, it's not until 2012! So why are we getting excited about it now?

Political scientists and commentators discuss whether UK politics is becoming more "presidential". Like the US president, who spends the second half of his four-year term electioneering, the London mayor seem to be less and less about getting things done and more and more about just getting elected. Or, if you're a Labour hopeful, simply getting on the ballot paper.

Chinese New Year: be tigerish for human rights!

The Chinese New Year began on 14 February. The main celebrations in London take place tomorrow, there are some details on the Visit London website.

These events are a lot of fun, but I can't enjoy them properly without a bit of politicking! It's my annual custom with some friends from the No Sweat campaign to go along and leaflet to raise awareness of the treatment of trade unionists in China. I say trade unionists, in fact, the official trade unions tend to be adjuncts of the state; No Sweat raises support for those people trying to set up independent unions. People like:

Chen Yuping 陳玉平 - sentenced to one and a half years of re-education through labour, for "disturbing social order". His crime, organising an independent trade union in the Jilin state-owned petroleum corporation.

Li Wangyang 李旺陽 - sentenced to 13 years imprisonment in 1990 for founding the Shaoyang Workers' Autonomous Federation and leading strikes during the May 1989 pro-democracy movement. Released in 2000, in February 2001 he staged a 22-day hunger strike for medical compensation for injuries he had sustained while in prison. Li was again arrested by the police. In September 2001, he was tried in secret on the charge of "incitement to subvert state power" and sentenced to a further 10 years' imprisonment.

Ning Xianhua 寧先華 - a construction worker in Shenyang, Liaoning province, sentenced in September 2004 to 12 years’ imprisonment for “subversion of state power” for organising an independent trade union.

You can read about cases like this on the China Labour Bulletin website, based in Hong Kong.

Our campaign is usually well received; we always make the point as well that the London mayor uses the event to schmooze big business and the Chinese embassy, politely turning a blind eye to the manifold human rights abuses that go on in China.

I understand this is one topic Barnet mayor Brian Coleman and I might agree on. He espouses freedom for Falun Gong and Tibetan independence, but I don't think his dislike of totalitarianism would extend to supporting free trade unions... would it?!