Friday, 6 July 2012

Burnt Oak - Dumped Mattress Central (an humorous blogpost for Friday)

Bloggers occasionally like to share with their readers the search terms that people use to hit on their blog.

This evening's haul is fairly typical for my blog. I can imagine which of my previous blogposts the search terms have landed searchers on - most of them quite appropriate, luckily.

museum london Aeronauts Interactive Centre - That's easy: a blogpost I wrote about Grahame Park and the RAF Museum.

Andrew Travers Barnet - Innumerable posts about Barnet council and town hall tax dodgers.

relaxing at work - Ha, ha, ha! That picture of Brian Coleman asleep at his desk.

slogan on circulatory system - Bit obscure that one, but I did once try my hand at cartooning, none too successfully.

misandry - ah, yes...

famous children campaigners - I confess I have never written on this subject.

oak hill park barnet funfair - Fun fairs everywhere you turn in Barnet. Makes money for the council, y'see.

jonathan lovett pcs union - Yes, the former Father of the NUJ Chapel at the Barnet Press has gone to work for the PCS union.

valley logos - Dollis Valley Green Walk? I'm sure there are more famous valleys!

library cum cafe - I think - I hope - they are thinking of the tendency of councils such as Barnet to shove every public service they can into the one building, in order to save on the electricity bill. This drive has already ruined Burnt Oak library, and more are sure to follow.

boris johnson birthday card - Aaaah!

small funfairs - You've come to the right place, coming to Barnet!

boris johnson ugly - Oh... well, never mind.

Burnt Oak is a Shithole - At last! Some of the most popular search terms drawing people to my blog.

A little more on that last one. To be fair, I always say that while Burnt Oak is not much to look at, it is not a demoralised place. "Alright, as shitholes go," I think, is what I wrote. I have seen this said of Burnt Oak by other people.

Now someone has started a blog, "Fly Tipping in Burnt Oak", with pictures of the flytipping that takes place in this area.

I think this probably has fairly limited appeal, even to people who live in Burnt Oak and want to complain about fly tipping.

But let's see whether, in time, this blogger branches out to treat of other topics.

If the author of this blog wants to get in touch with me, please email, which is my Barnet trades council email. Perhaps we can think of some way to tackle the problem of flytipping in Barnet together...


daggi said...

That Burnt Oak Matress Blog could well be the start of gentrification in the area. It's *art*. Conceptual art. The artists have moved in already. The vegan caf├ęs ("Burnt Toast") and artisan bread ("Burnt Loaf") for 4 quid a piece will arrive before the end of the year, I'm certain.

Seriously, ignore the rubbish and concentrate the surroundings in the background of those photographs - it looks - superficially, I admit, a lot nicer than the shithole LCC estate I grew up in...

Citizen Barnet said...

Burnt Oak is a decent-ish place. The estate's are quite nice. The increase in dumping could be partly down to the council doing away with the free skips they used to provide a couple of times a year.

Of course, people shouldn't dump. But if people are going to dump, they now do it in the streets instead of having the chance to show some responsibility and hang on till the council skip is available.

And, all that said, I can imagine that there are some people who do have stuff they need to get rid of - blood soaked mattresses?! - and can't afford to take it to the dump. I'm not saying they're right; I'm saying people shouldn't be that poor...

Me and a friend have speculated on whether one COULD gentrify Burnt Oak. You would have your work cut out. Every time one can smell that sort of possibility, capitalism does its thing and there is another recession. I think we are safe. (Not all good, obviously!)

daggi said...

Me and a friend have speculated on whether one COULD gentrify Burnt Oak.

I have often wondered how long it would take to gentrify Dage***m. On the one hand, it would take a miracle. On the other hand, it could have a lot going for it: the cheapest housing anywhere in the south (and further afield) (unfortunately, hardly any of it's for renting any more); schools that aren't too bad; reasonable-ish public transport; lots of empty shops that could be taken over by artists. And warehouses. And derelict industrial areas.

And it's near-ish to the seaside (Southend, Clacton!), and the water. The Thames!

As the conceptual artist Bill Drummond (?) from the KLF, who not only burnt a million quid (which interested nobody), recorded their hit single "Doctor In The Tardis" over the road from where I grew up, in studios behind the "Labour Club" (nothing to do with the party nor the unions, but part of the C.I.U. though), but also had the same piano teacher as I did, said:

The Daggers is the New Barcelona.

For most of the reasons above. They could have put the olympics there. It would have saved one nice part of London (Hackney) and might have somehow improved a right shithole.

trellis said...

It's me actually, only just found this. I update it periodically still but the fly tipping depresses me so. However, Burnt Oak is a decent place to live. I don't know if I'd want it gentrified because the house prices would go up, the roads would get busy and probably we'd see an increase in crime as more wealthy people moved in. i.e. more fruitful targets.

trellis said...

I've only just spotted this! I do update it periodically still.

Burnt Oak is a decent place to live, despite being ignored by the council. I don't know if I'd want it gentrified really, I'm happy with it being our little secret.