A busy week ahead for functional body Brian Coleman

I have gained exclusive access to the desk diary of Brian Coleman AM FRSA BAKA for next week. Tiptoeing past his slumbering form, I was able to glance over his shoulder and read there the entries for next week. He has a busy schedule, I can tell you.

Monday 6 September: Barnet council Cabinet meeting. Well, in fact, I'm not sure that Cabinet meetings really are all that onerous for the members; all the decisions have already been made. Hillan's merry band troop in and wearily perform their pre-rehearsed lines for the assembled public and press. They like to wrap up business as early as possible, presumably so that they can go back to their dinner parties. That's one of the reasons - there are others - that they hate the 30 minutes allowed for public questions.

Unlike the public, who have had to wade through a 300+ page agenda to work out whether their public questions will be in order (ie, relate to business being heard at that particular Cabinet meeting), I can't imagine that any of the Cabinet members will actually know what they are voting on when they stick up their hands in unanimous agreement with the Leaderine. But they will do it anyway and probably accompany the act with fulsome praise for everything Hillan thinks, says and does. Even those of them who plan to stab her in the back the next night.

Tuesday 7 September: Barnet Tory group crisis summit. The Tory group will meet to decide whether to continue marching into oblivion, ignominy and national notoriety with Lynne Hillan at their helm, or whether to rally around a bloke no one knows from Adam who has some powerful friends in high places... somewhere...

At least Mark Shooter makes the right noises to the press and he has gained some supporters in the blogosphere. Vote Shooter, get fewer howling political blunders and unwanted media attention? A better bet, therefore, for shafting the residents and workforce of Barnet big time? It is for Barnet's Tory councillors to decide. The recalcitrant residents of Barnet will merely await the next Pope and see what s/he plans for us.

Wednesday 8 September: Functional Body Question Time at the GLA. This week's functional body is Brian Coleman, chair of the London Fire and Emergency Planning Authority. The questions that Coleman will face in the meeting are listed here, plus a great long list of questions requiring written answers. (Volunteers are sought to sharpen Brian's pencil.)

There is only a fleeting mention of the dispute that Coleman and the London Fire Brigade have engineered with London's firefighters. In brief, the LFB has threatened to sack all of London's firefighters before Christmas if their union doesn't agree to drastically changing their shift-pattern. The FBU is balloting its members on action short of strike as a first step to show their displeasure at being treated this way. You can read the FBU's very reasonable case here.

Thursday 9 September: Why, it's the weekend, isn't it?!